Valentine’s day is upon us and every year men and women set lofty expectations of having a true night of bliss that will satisfy every fantasy. Then reality hits us. Your sex life isn’t what it once was, but honestly neither are you. For some this may not apply, but add a kid or animals, a stressful job, a crappy diet, and lack of exercise, and a lack of patience, and honestly, a night of good sleep has become better than sex. But why? Why did sex become a back seat item? When did ultimate pleasure get tabled for Netflix and pizza…
The truth is, your orgasms haven’t been that great, yeah sometimes you have that one rockin night and get yours, but is it a mind blowing toe curling orgasm extravaganza. Not really. But don’t blame yourself, millions of people are in this boat. The truth is, how can you feel extra sexy and in the mood, not to mention, achieve the best O you have ever had, when you don’t put yourself first. Let’s be honest, If you’re not feelin it, you don’t want anyone feelin you!
Truth: Selfishness is the key to the ultimate orgasm. Seriously people when was the last time you put everything else aside and took care of you? Food is huge when reaching that big O, but let’s talk about the big S, STRESS. Stress will kill it, instantly. When was the last time you experienced being satisfied with life?
Okay so my version of Selfishness is not what you think it is, men and women today are so concerned with providing and planning, and being frankly, perfect, that they forget to take care of numero uno. This version of selfishness is really SELF-CARE. Most people think that this is all they will ever get so they just have to deal. Bullshit. What happened to making your needs known, your feelings validated, and creating an egalitarian environment?! Who wants to have sex with someone that doesn’t make you feel validated or appreciated, not me. Your emotional health is just as important as your physical health because they are one in the same.
No to mention your overall mindset. Your mindset is essential when climbing the mountain of the Kama Sutra. When we are relaxed, zen, have a belly full of nutrient dense whole foods, slept great, and feel healthy, we can then get down in scream town and feel the ultimate ride of the sacred orgasm.
Your probably thinking, ugh, that’s too complicated, and will only happen in a parallel universe. Not true, you make your own existence everyday. Every minute that passes is a chance to make a shift.
Becoming emotionally validated comes from a will to be heard and a right of control. Every single man and woman has the right to control his or her existence. It’s up to you if you are willing to make the change.
For some the first step is eating habits. Libido is driven by the fuel we give to our bodies. Our sex hormones are not able to produce properly if we are not nourishing our bodies. If you’re ready to get your sexy on and achieve the ultimate O here are some tips to make your Valentine’s night extra special:
Get into a state of peace and relaxation with yourself and those around you, exude love and positive energy, no one likes a negative nancy. Get a massage, go sit in a sauna, get some energy work.
Switch out your startchy carbs for higher fats like avocado, liver pate, coconut oil, egg yolk, bone broth and butter, blood flow responds better to higher fats and mineral rich foods like dark chocolate, leafy greens, salmon, Brazil nuts, pumpkin seeds and oysters!
Try making my sexy hot chocolate:
1 cup heavy cream or coconut cream
3 tbsp of organic raw cacao powder
1/4 tsp pf cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp of cinnamon
1 tbsp of Maca powder
2 tsp of raw honey
Heat slowly mix and enjoy
Express to your partner that you appreciate them as they do you and talk about things you love about each other, tell them how sexy they are and that you want them for all that they are. Take them to the sex shop and find some fun games to play or toys to enjoy together.
Enjoy quality time together with no phones, tv, laptops, or smart devices, this complete disconnect creates a drive between both people and doesn’t bond you together. You might as well be alone.
Physical touch is everything and foreplay is everything, if you rush the party it’ll be over before it starts and it will be very lack luster, taking you back to square one.
Stimulation is stimulation in every form. If you stimulate the mind with appreciation and validation you begin to feel happy and relax. Stimulation with diet and mindfulness helps you to feel better physically and able to perform better. Stimulation with mutual massage and a sweet treat, makes you feel like a million bucks and ready to create the perfect environment for the ultimate orgasm.
When you are happy your partner is happy and when you both are happy all is well in the bedroom.
If you want to eat your way to the ultimate orgasm cut out the crap and take care of your body. It will take care of you!
And ladies, don’t forget your Kegel exercises, they are there for a reason 😉
Vaginal exercises are extremely important!! ❤